Broken Curses
by L.Marks
Summary: I have added Merlin and Morgana to the mix that is Once Upon a Time (no, it's not a crossover with MerlinBBC, but I may borrow some elements). I'm still working on some other parts of their story, so for now it's just one scene in the finale of Season 1. Not sure when I'll have them trimmed and polished enough to publish, but please bear with me, and enjoy!


Morgana pressed her forehead against the cold glass of the small window and looked out at the world. There was a faint rustle behind her, but she was sure few people would look for her here - someone could, in theory, have noticed the door was unlocked and had come up to see who was so desperate for solitude, but the library was locked and unwelcoming. The clock tower was her favorite haunt, and only Mr. Gold would have known to look for her here, but the footsteps were not his, and nor was the mellow voice that fell upon her ears.

"I thought I'd find you here. You always loved clockwork, and all that delicate machinery."

She shuddered, and in a strained voice, replied, "But only Gold knows how to get in here, I showed him the door."

"Well, let's just say - I wasn't surprised when he brought me here." She did not dare turn around to face him. "So, Madame Morgana, you took my memory, and then you refused to give it back."

"I didn't, not intentionally. I couldn't undo it, and even if I had found a way, how could I -"

"- Tell me that our children were lost to another world? And that we could not follow them there, not without losing much of ourselves? That was entirely my fault, you know. We could have thought of something, Morgan. Even if we followed them there, at least we would still be a family."

With a gasp she wiped away a stray tear, still keeping her back to him. "Memories are all we're made of, and losing the best and the worst ones would still mean losing a great part of you. The ones you retain are so skewed as to make you a completely different person. Maybe, deep inside somewhere, you are still who you should have been - but it's like looking at yourself through a warped looking glass, and seeing something alien - almost like looking at the people here, knowing their counterpart. Only children remain unchanged."

"But that means they remember us as we were, and they know the difference." She nodded. "We could have tried, you know."

"No, Merlin. We can never be a family now, in any world where there is magic, not after what I've done. For now, at least, before Rumpelstiltskin brings back magic, as I know he will, we have each other, but as soon as he brings it back, you will forget me." Morgana's tears spilled from her eyes once more.

Merlin shook his head with a weary smile. "How could I forget you, Morgan, my love?"

"Because the magic I used cannot be undone! And in truth, I'd rather be in your place, not remembering. You still had a chance at happiness, you had hope. I know for sure now that my curse cannot be broken."

With a sigh, Merlin chided, "You never were in my place, dear, it's not all that wonderful."

"But I was." Her silhouetted form turned to him, eyes glowing out of the dark. "I was Willow. It took some time to learn to coexist with her mind, her view of the world, for all that she and I were so alike. She was a much younger Morgana, but life had taken a far greater toll on her by that age than it had on me. It was very difficult, until Willow met Maximilian Ambrose - you. That was the opening, the strongest point that we both had in common.

"It was easier to be Willow - to wish, to dream, to hope. They do say, losing memory makes one younger." She lapsed into silence once more and turned back to the window. After a long pause, she spoke once more, uncertainly, "I'm sorry, my dear. I stole from you what you valued most. I should have known that for you, even the slightest chance was hope against all hope. It was a little selfish of me to consider it my private madness."

Behind her, Merlin rose from his improvised seat and drew closer. "You know," he sharply stopped right behind her, as if struck by a sudden thought, "I could never have had enough patience, to do what you did. To shape Rumpelstiltskin into who he is - unique, as the only Dark One who ever had so much knowledge and a single goal to use it for. He gave you the perfect means to the end, and you gave him all the knowledge you could share with no one else. And then you grew close to him - enough to want to help him. And he gave you the chance to return my memory to me, and find our children together. But now you would run from it."

He gently took her by the shoulder and turned her face to his own. "Morgana, all those years ago, when we were separated, and we were afraid it would be for a very long time - we promised each other something. It was your idea, I remember. For every year we lost, you said, we could dream up memories - what it would have been like, if we were together. Things we would have done, places we would have seen, funny little stories about days spent walking through cities and along beaches and through art galleries."

She did not look up, but nodded. "Morgan - the fact that I did not remember your face, your voice, or even your eyes, never once stopped me from dreaming up those stories. All these years, it kept me sane."

At last her gaze, brimming with tears, rose to his own. "Merlin," she whispered, smiling through the pain of knowing they had but minutes left together, knowing that because of her, in a moment, he would forget everything again. She could feel magic returning, rushing back from the well in the forest.

"I will never stop looking for you," he promised, and stooped to embrace and kiss the woman he loved.

The purple cloud rolled over Storybrooke and was gone in seconds, leaving the townspeople puzzled, but overjoyed at reuniting with long-lost loved ones. In the clocktower, however, Morgana wept bitterly, falling to her knees. She was alone again, and never had she been more keenly aware that it was her fault, and that her happy ending might never come at all.


End file.
